No break up, no matter how short and inconsequential the relationship may be, is ever easy.
At 30, I thought I am an expert when it comes to relationships.... I have already made up my mind long ago that I will never marry because I never believed in marriage. Just the same this current break up shattered me into bits and pieces, left me with no faith in love and confidence in myself. I know I should not be saying this but then again, this is the normal consequence of rejection.
It was a short but intense relationship. I have been with the ex for 9 months, 7 of which he was miles away. In those nine months, however, I never spent a day without talking to him. We usually spent our nights at YM, video chatting and sometimes "cyber drinking" as if we're physically together. When I think about those times we spent together, it seems that I don't really know that guy considering the short period I've known him. But still, AAAARRRRAYYYYY. It's never easy to accept and recover from a break up. Maybe because, for a short period of time I was happy with him or maybe because I have subconsciously changed my belief in marriage or i may have included him in my life plans or maybe because I know that there will be changes and I don't want it.
I am still in pain but I have faith that this is nothing that I can't handle. This relationship taught me a lot. Among others, it taught me that there is nothing wrong with humility and fighting for love or running after a man because you do not want to give up just yet as long as you know exactly when to stop. I learned that yesterday and it was a very humbling experience. I did what I thought I will never do my whole lifetime and I do not regret doing it. I know I could not have reached this stage of acceptance and possess the desire to move on had I not been rejected the way the ex rejected me.
I am shattered and I am still in pain but I will be ok...soon. It's not gonna be easy, neither will it be fast. I don't know how I will do it but I know it will be a long journey that I am willing to take alone with the help of the people who truly love me backed up with faith that God has planned something better for me.
We only pass by this life once, I should not worry myself with things that only hurt me, unless it is necessary..... That could be a good start.
